Why Letting Players Describe Monsters Might Not Be a Good Idea

In a sentence: giving control of how to describe monsters to the players leads to enhanced and monstrous genitalia.

Let me begin by saying that Make Your Own Luck is a brilliant adventure. It is simple enough that new players can pick up the game easily enough, and challenging enough for more experienced ones. The first combat was certainly easy, and they only got harder from there.

At the beginning we started before MYOL took place. The players started from where their last session had left off… in the office of an advisor to the emperor who just happened to also be a silver dragon in human form. They accepted the quests from him, one of which was MYOL, and went on their merry way to the market. There, two new players joined them having also been hired by the advisor. The rogue, who’s One Unique Thing happened to be “I am the most beautiful man in the world and must wear a paper bag on my head as to not cause chaos amongst the people” bought over one thousand throwing knives having rolled a 20 on his persuasion check for the merchant. Now he is running around covered in Bandoliers of Throwing knives. The other bought many insane things as well (mostly being the necromancer bought two large tabby cats that were not guaranteed free of fleas or demonic possession) and the fighter bough magic dust for the forging of a magic weapon later.

From there with their NPC healer they left for Harrowdale in the north. Where upon arriving (with a mercenary company they convinced to hire on to the defense of the town back at the market) were immediately attacked by the impeding troll army. They came to describe what they did to defend the town for the months they were defending the city as is part of the adventure, and they came to describe the trolls’ private parts as previously stated. Not to mention that the necromancer walked around town at night scarring children with his skeletal minion which was a floating skull that played the trumpet that spit out fire.

On a dark and starting to storm night, they saw an invading troll force, and a secret one that was coming in through a hole in the town’s wall. So they went and fought, which was the first time the rogue nearly died that battle, only being saved by the healer (and being forced on by the troll). They slaughtered the Two Siege Trolls (and the rogue made the troll’s massive weapon his own weapon) shortly after and then they saw a retreating band of Goblin messengers that had the hand of diabolist on their armor and skin.

At which point we took a break and I made a pizza run.

When we came back the goblins were retreating down the roves out of sight of the party. The rogue immediately threw a knife at the goblins… and crit hit them, killing the weaker of them. At which point the goblins all tag teamed the rogue and he had yet another close call, but not as close as the previous troll fight.

They found the letter on the goblin captain that informed them of the nightcandle and the traitor. While the majority of the party leaves to question the town about the woman who is the traitor, the necromancer covers his eyes in goblin/troll blood so he can see the candle. After a long walk (and some questioning by the other members of the party) they all eventually arrive at the decrepit slaughterhouse.

There most of the party talks to the farmer and his wife about where the traitor is while the Fighter talks to the mercenary that is leaning against the slaughter house. At the mention of the traitor’s name by the other members of the party, the mercenary gets up and begins to walk into the slaughter house, only to be stopped and outbid by the fighter to have the mercenary fight with them against the traitor. So to my dismay I must make yet another NPC for them to take with them on their adventures.

They ambush the traitor, who happens to go first and slit the throat of a certain farmer boy. Slimes fall from the ceiling to intercept the adventurers. The fighter and the Rogue conclude that the best course of action would be for the former to throw the latter over the slimes and at the traitor. At which point the fighter roles a 1 and throws the rogue DIRECTLY into a slime, which then begins to eat the rogue.

All in all they killed the traitor in a fight that nearly killed the rogue yet again. As she dies the Stone Thief opens up and they run out of the slaughter house before it eats them.

Outside many things happen, but they see the leader of the trolls, Marrowbreath, which is another such character they get to describe. Of which they said “He is twice as tall as us and at first glance it looks like he has a massive tail.” And for the rest of the night he was described as having “URRRRR!!!”

The fight nearly killed the rogue again. And only by defeating Marrowbreath in a long fight they managed to get the magic item they were sent to protect out of the city and to the approaching Imperial army before they leave onto their next quest.

How to sum up this session in a few words? Massive troll phalluses.

-Sam L. The other GM. 

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